Gossip: Destructive Conversation
Gossip entails repeating idle talk about other's private affairs or starting rumours that are meant to harm or criticize the person being talked about. We tend to use this destructive chatter to make us feel better about our positions in life. For some reason, we feel better if someone else is worse off than we are. Girl talk, on the other hand, focuses on more constructive conversation - you may be talking something happening in another individual's life, but not at their own expense.
It can be hard to not listen to gossip, although listening is just as incorrect as speaking. Whenever someone gossips and you listen, the pass is complete whether you meant to catch it or not.
The problem for the individual perpetuating the gossip is that although she may seem interesting enough to hear at the moment, she can't be trusted to construct an intimate relationship with. No matter how'together' she may look, the gossip and criticism she puts out, reveals what's happening in the inside - negative thinking, anger, hurt, and hatred.
Criticism of different folks will eventually spill over into other parts of people's lives. The more we see wrong in others, the more critical we become at home and with our intimate friends and relations. This is because gossip and criticism actually undermine your integrity and ultimately oppress the soul.
Perform A Reality Check
-Is the conversation destructive or constructive? As soon as you have decided which, you have the option to remove yourself from the conversation. The men and women that are gossiping may take note and be offended, but in the long run you'll win the esteem of others. If you really believe that you will need to share some information with someone about another individual, first think about what your purpose and motive are for sharing it.
-Ask yourself why you are drawn into the gossip ring? Is there a feeling of insecurity, self loathing, hurt, fear or anger within yourself that needs healing?
-Choose friends carefully. The special part of friendship is being able to confide in each other through demanding times. This is unsafe if your buddy is known to gossip.
You will discover that your friendships will grow deeper once you shelve gossip and the conversations you share will be about things you have in common with some substance.